We missed Nessie!
May 28, 2018
CBR 2k17: epilogue
May 28, 2018

You can’t make shit like this up

Adrian warming up the tyre before starting the last day.

I don’t know how to describe the last day of Cannonball. Even if the whole week’s been a random mess, the final day to it to the next level.


So, on Friday night in Inverness, we got a lot of free drinks, and decided to have a race to the finish with Hippie. The bet was a double whisky and we’d start out at 30 minute intervals which would be timed by the van driver, Jeremy.

The weather and the scenery were absolutely glorious as we set out and I went fast, but sensibly fast. The plan was to make it to the halfway petrol stop with one tank, which succeeded even without going to the reserve. Excited by that, I think I may have ran a little too hot, since after 100 or so miles, I’d have to turn to reserve.

Luckily also the Hippie had petrol issues; I was laughing my ass off as he was filling his piece of shit with petrol as I passed him. At that time, I had to seriously watch my consumption, however, so I was feathering the throttle and doing 60 mph max. So the Hippie got to give me the finger as he passed by.

After I’d done like 35-40 miles on reserve, I headed to the next town and asked the first guy for a petrol station. It was lovely, a small service station. The guy asked if I wanted it filled up, but I was in a race and only wanted to finish. Preferably first. He laughed and gave me a few litres.

After that I was fucking gunning down the motorway. I tried to keep an eye out for speed cameras, but failed. I hope the dude who sold me the Kawi doesn’t get any undesired mail from the police…


Upon arriving at the hotel in Edinburgh, I was surprised I didn’t see the Hippie there. I actually wasn’t sure I was in the right place. But then, after 5 or so minutes – before I could get myself a beer – I heard the familiar rumble again, and soon the Aprilia would arrive. To my amusement the Hippie seemed devastated and on that instant Jeremy got out of the hotel asking how is he supposed to time this! Surprisingly I didn’t get lost once and the Hippie only twice, I think. I seriously thought we had seen the last of him as he took of in Inverness.

I had jolly good fun on the hippie’s expense, and after Jeremy the stuntman did a wheelie on his Gixxer, Adrian asked me to join in for a bit of a burnout. I’m not that hard to get convinced to do stuff like that, so soon there’d be Adrian, Markus and me burning rubber and the Hippie burning his clutch. Which was even funnier.

After that the dinner followed. The awards went to Baneviken (the Party Norwegians) for utter disregard of any manners, Adrian for utter disregard of his new S1000RR and I got the Spirit of the CBR award (again). This year’s Legend was Alan, aka the Bad Santa.


The afterparty was where things really got out of hand. We downed all the vodka in the world, the ladies looked under my kilt and I got to put a sticker on a pair of boobs. Then all of a sudden the Hippie dropped his clothes, and got instantly caught and arrested. We laughed about his unfortunate events, and headed back to the hotel. There we found out that one bike was missing and a few had been tampered with – one being the Hippie’s Fiat. We had heard the Hippie would get out on Tuesday, so we agreed the best thing would be to Horney to take his bike to his place in his van.


In the morning one of the Baneviken said that they had almost caught the robbers as they were looking for more bikes to steal. And the CCTV footage showed out guard had also been giving his all to catch the fuckers. It was really funny when the police, who came to look at things in the morning asked about the whereabouts of the owner of the bike getting pushed in the van, someone replied to him “You guys have him.” Priceless.


So after that, we laughed about the hippie some more and had a few beers. Nick, the organiser called me and explained the situation. As I was writing this, the Hippie called me and said he’d been let go. I don’t know how, but he apparently talked himself out of everything and he’ll ride the train to Horney’s tomorrow to get his bike back.


This week has really been goddamn random – at least it hasn’t been boring. But seriously I must say, this is definitely why I work; to get to do shit like this. I don’t remember when I’ve felt so alive as I do now. Possibly during the previous Run. All you guys are great, you are what makes the event.




The final day in stats:
Distance travelled: 420 km
Times lost: 0
Times pulled over: 0

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